A Letter to the Future

Strawberry Cough and California’s not that far. Einstein said he thought of all of his best ideas while he was shaving. If you haven’t understood a word I’ve typed since the inception of this blog then I have done my job. Carl Sagan said it when he said that by far the most important thing we need to worry about is NUCLEAR WAR. It is the single and only means by which we can destroy ourselves, and more importantly, will PROBABLY destroy ourselves if todays events carry on into tomorrow. You’re either with us or you’re against us. Will the real Slim Shady please stand up. You slimeballs have finally bested me in all of your hippocratic glory. You will only vaguely know the feeling of counting beans on a desk somewhere in San Antonio. You will never know what true joy feels like. You will never powerslide the “Little Bastard” around a PCH bend at 95 mph and live to tell about it. You will enjoy several more super big gulps at 48 teaspoons of sugar a piece. You will do things that we can only dream about. Ca plane pour moi. Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow. This I care about. Right wing, left wing, abortion, right to life, religion as a whole mean nothing after nuclear war. THE HUNDRETH MONKEY. Nuclear war means that it’s all over folks. It means that, in one decade of discovery, those crazy white men created the technology to end 4 billion years of human evolution. That much is already done, it was done 60 years ago. Our job now is to make sure that no one hits that red button. I don’t need to tell you that electing GW Bush into office is not the best way of accomplishing that goal. After all, let’s put some Jonestown Massacre, Hale-Bopp, E-meter, Operating Thetans behind the controls. There is only one REAL danger. And I mean a danger that could wipe out not only human life but all life on earth, and turn it into Mars. That danger is nuclear war. The non-proliferation of nuclear weapons needs to be our number one priority as not only a people but as a species if we have any semblance of a desire to save ourselves. It’s the difference between becoming a part of the galactical community or not. This is a test. Laugh. Great, go back to your meaningless philosophy books. What is philosophy once we have come in contact with a species from 16 thousand light years away? They don’t have eyes and they don’t have ears because they evolved in a completely different environment than us. They’ve never heard of Derrida or Foucault. What the fuck does “Christian” or “Jewish” or “Muslim” mean to a species that has been watching us for the past million years? (The terribly violent and bloody concept of religion has only popped up in the past few thousand years) Any ridiculously petty differences we’ve had on this planet are instantly reduced to nothingness. Our solar system is just a blip on the outskirts of the Milky Way galaxy which is only one of millions of other galaxies in our universe. The fact that humans still believe that they are somehow special is laughable. It is presumable, from an exosociobiological point of view, that extraterrestrial beings are familiar with the language of mathematics. They will know that the ratio of the circumference to the diameter of a perfect circle is 3.1415927 (thats from the top of my head, rubs nails against shirt). Of course that number is base 10 and we have no reason to believe that this alien species would also use base 10. After all, our base 10 counting system is based on the fact that we have ten fingers. Miserable Failure.

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